So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
