She's JV to your varsity
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
