So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
