How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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