I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
