operation harelip BJ is a go
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
