Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
