no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
