You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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