under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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