please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
