you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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