it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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