Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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