His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
