3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Im part way to drunk.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
