I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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