honey bunches of taint.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
