dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
