she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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