You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She said her name was "party"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
