fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
