I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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