I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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