He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
