those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
