i just google imaged poop.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
