I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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