He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sorry about my life...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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