handjob tips. give me some.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The adults are the big ones right?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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