I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
