I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
