ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
