He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
