you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
