i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
