Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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