I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
