Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Blood and glitter go together right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
