if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
