im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
