i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
