How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
