i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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