what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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