so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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