Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm at about main and main street
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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