My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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