I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Green mimosas i think yes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
