New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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