the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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