Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
