We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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