I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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